This may sound stupid...

Hello everyone, I am at the point in my life where some good solid
advice is needed.
I am a 34 y.o. former Vegas showgirl (God I hate that term!) who later
had quite a prosperous career in fashion (modeling and design). I gave
it up to marry, a loser as it turned out. For some need, I suppose to
be strong, I've taken on a rather macho attitude. My given name,
Maxine, has since become "Max" and I find myself needing to prove that
I am something I'm really not. I have an addiction to haunt Usenet as
this "Max" character, knowing not why. I need to refocus and turn back
into the sensitive flower which I once was. Is it too late or can I
recapture myself in the world of fashion.