The Face: The Kvetchettes

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/02/26/style/tmagazine/t_w_1029_face_flaws_.html
The New York Times Style Magazine
February 26, 2006
The Face: The Kvetchettes
By ZAHRA CRAWFORD
In his treatise "Of Beauty," the philosopher Francis Bacon observed,
"There is no excellent beauty that hath not some strangeness in the
proportion." Sadly, nobody ever told the "Law & Order: SVU" star Mariska
Hargitay. In an interview with People magazine, Hargitay revealed an
unnerving relationship with her nose: "It tips down and does weird things
in photographs. It scares me sometimes."
And Hargitay is not alone. She is just one of the current crop of
celebrities who, despite every genetic and often surgical advantage,
feel compelled to parade their physical imperfections before us huddled,
misshapen masses. "I have cellulite," Salma Hayek declares. "Don't be too
impressed with me." Jessica Biel, named Esquire's 2005 Sexiest Woman
Alive, is uncomfortable revealing her "bum, thighs and legs," while the
actress Eva Mendes lays claim to "the hugest overbite," likening herself
to a human "bottle opener." Even Angelina Jolie says that in the past she
has "often felt unattractive."
Is this just deluded narcissism, or a new aesthetic trend where nobody,
not even the wealthiest and most celebrated, can ever be beautiful enough?
The psychologists Dr. Sara Gutierres and Dr. Douglas Kenrick, of Arizona
State University, have been studying perceptions of beauty for 20 years.
One of the key findings has been that people will assess their level of
attractiveness differently, depending on the situation in which they find
themselves. Not surprisingly, women who are surrounded by other attractive
women, as female celebrities are in Hollywood, consistently describe
themselves as being dissatisfied with their appearance.
Albert Lee, a senior editor at the celebrity glossy Us Weekly, is not
buying it. "It's a preemptive strike," he says. "The paparazzi are hiding
everywhere, hoping to catch stars without their makeup or flashing some
cellulite. So when they look like hell, it's like, 'See, I told you.'
"There's so much disingenuousness," Lee continues. "Nicole Kidman says she
has a boy's body. Most women would kill for that figure. The girl does
have her issues I mean, her face looks like it has been absolutely
blasted with Botox. But she's not going to talk about that, is she?"
Today, the omnipresent paparazzi and the voracious tabloid media they feed
mean that, visually at least, our relationship with stars is very
intimate. We see them as we might a friend or a lover bed–headed,
grabbing a morning latte; pushing a supermarket cart; even scooping up
after their dog. While it's hard to imagine Marlene Dietrich ever
complaining that her pores were ridiculously clogged, as Jessica Simpson
has, this kind of unappetizing admission seems almost a natural offshoot
of such intimacy.
The spiritual godmother of today's "flaunt the flaw" movement is the
legendary comedian Phyllis Diller. Diller, admittedly no beauty, has made
a long and lucrative career out of presenting herself as a cartoon
gargoyle with pancake makeup, garish and unflattering clothes, and a line
of self–loathing repartee typified by a quip: "I was in a beauty contest
once. I not only came in last. I was hit in the mouth by Miss
Congeniality." Diller's denigration of her looks was a calculated strategy
to desexualize herself, making it possible for her to survive on the
male–dominated, and often openly misogynistic, 1950's comedy circuit.
For Tyra Banks, the public dissection of her physical imperfections is a
rebranding exercise aimed at transforming her from Amazonian supermodel to
the Generation–Y Oprah. Accordingly, subjects covered on her "Tyra" chat
show have ranged from her "big booty" and cellulite to the high forehead
that earned her the nickname "Light–Bulb Head." She has, on camera,
removed both her makeup to show her dark under–eye circles and, more
notoriously, her bra, allowing her breasts to be scanned by an expert with
a bleeping machine in an effort, as a tearful Banks informed us, to put to
rest hurtful rumors that she has had implants. After much manhandling, it
was confirmed that her now sagging cleavage was indeed real, but not as
"real" as Banks herself.
At a time when so many gorgeous celebrities are, for whatever reasons,
trying to convince us that they are ugly, comments like those made to
British Cosmopolitan magazine by the "OC" starlet Mischa Barton come
almost as a breath of fresh air. Her pain is that she is too beautiful:
"The truth is, pretty people aren't as accepted as other people. It comes
with all these stigmas."
While that might not be attractive when compared with the keening of
Hollywood's beauty sob sisters, there is a visceral honesty to Barton's
brand of self–involvement, and just a dash of authentic, if silly,
glamour.