Black man for rent

Hi,
I am an African American male, aged 14 – 33. I would be willing to
wear your gear, free of charge. As a matter of fact I will pay for the
privelege. Should you care to manufacture a very large, very bulky,
verrrrry ugly jacket with your company's logo/slogan/graphic, I would
appreciate the opportunity to wear it in public. The larger the logo,
the better. Should it be Cheerios, should it be Jack Daniels, should
it be Mickey Mouse in some sort of "extreme" pose, should it be
Chevrolet, should it be the Los AngeIes Clippers, I don't care. As
long as it is a logo, and as long as it is freaking big. Bonus points
if your logo is on the jacket/shirt/hat/shoes four times or more.
On the designer front, I would be interested in hearing from Ecko,
Hilfiger (no matter how ugly – let's talk), Fat Albert, Enyce, Nautica,
whoever makes Oakland Raiders gear, anyone from the NBA, Sean John (of
course), and _anyone_ who makes a purple, double breasted suit. I will
not entertain negotiations with Abercrombie and Fitch, Hollister Surf
Co, Polo, Abboud, Claiborne, Faccanable, Ashworth, any Nordy house
brand including, but not limited to JW Nordstrom shirts, Brooks
Brothers, J Crew and/or The gap or Old Navy. UNLESS...unless any of
you can make a shirt with a large logo on the front AND back – then we
have something to discuss.
In terms of footwear, I am particularly open to a relationship with
Lugz, Nike (of course), whoever makes gators, Adidas, Converse
(leather only), Florsheim, Aldo, Ecco, and BRUNOMAGLI. Others
considered on an individual case basis. No Rockport, Clark's,
Bostonian, Church's, Johnston Murphy, Allen Edmonds, Vans,
Birkenstock/Tevas/Keens, etc.
Bottom line, I need everyone at the mall to know what I am pimping from
300 yards away, and it is essential that the clothing be two to four
sizes two large. All potential inquiries should be directed to me
personally. Thanks and Yuh Yuh!!
A Black Man
PS – Sunglasses can be fake...I ain't worried about that shit.