Humor and not completly OT

A friend of mine (a lurker) sent me this and well,
the last two are for af ;–)
These are from a book called Disorder in the
Court, and are things people
actually said in court, word for word, taken down
and now published by
court reporters – who had the torment of staying
calm while these exchanges
were
actually taking place.
Q: Are you sexually active?
A: No, I just lie there.
====
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
====
Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your
memory at
all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of
something that
you've forgotten?
====
Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty–eight or thirty–five, I can't remember
which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty–five years.
====
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to
you when
he woke up that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
====
Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been
involved in
voodoo or the occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.
====
Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person
dies in his sleep, he
doesn't know about it until the next morning?
====
Q: The youngest son, the twenty–year old, how old
is he?
====
Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
====
Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was
August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
====
Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
====
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
====
Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?
====
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed
on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
====
Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What
school did you goto?
A: Oral.
====
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr.. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was
doing an autopsy.
====
Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
====
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did
you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was
alive when you began the
autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive,
nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been
alive and
practising law somewhere
And a couple for af...
Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
====
Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant
to a deposition notice
which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
––
Dennis
http://www.ejacanada.com
Remove 'Elle–Kabong' to reply